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호떡왕 꿀꿀이 영작대회 1회 모범답안

호떡왕꿀꿀이 작성
작성일 2021.02.24 12:26

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It is a common belief that drivers should not be charged for using their vehicles during rush hour, even though it contributs to air pollution. However, I firmly believe that imposing a fee would do a lot of good because it could reduce traffic and help protect the environment.

To begin with, implementing a rush hour fee would ease traffic congestion, and diminishing some of the pollution in the atmosphere. Charging people would make them less likely to drive to work. Instead, they would opt to use alternative means of transportation. This is important because being stuck in traffic also adds significantly to the emission of pollutants. Moreover, enforcing a fee is not only simple, but it works well. In London, for example, the government introduced a congestion fee several years ago. As a result, many people started to carpool, walk, or use public transportation rather than drive to work. Fewer cars on the road traffic congestion, and pollution levels have been going down ever since.

호떡와아 꿀꿀이의 의견

rather than

not only ~ , but also

를 잘 이용하면 문장의 길이가 길어져 쉽게 250단어를 넘길 수 있으며 문장 구성능력에서도 점수를 받기 쉬워진다.

use public transportation rather than drive to work (대중교통시설을 사용한다는게 결국은 운전안한다는건데 그냥 같은말을 반복한거임)

나의 의견에 대한 이유 > 일반적 진술 > 예시 이렇게 구성된 글인데

예시를 잘 쓰면 많은 아이디어가 없어도 넘어갈 수 있음

250자를 못채우느니 차라리 억지로 예시를 만들어서 쓰는게 더 높은 점수를 받음

On top of that, the revenue from those charges can be used to fund environmentally friendly projects. Governments would be able to utilize the tax money to make their cities greener. In stockholm, for instance, the city administration has been able to plant trees and flowers alongside roads with the funds from a rush hour regulation. This vegetation adds to the beauty of the landscape, but more importantly, it improves the air quality overall. In effect, tax revenues from a rush hour fee can do much to alleviate the polluted air.

이 글도 stockholm에 대한 예시가 거의 전부임 하지만

greener라는 일반적인 진술을 예시에 어떻게 greener 하게 하는지 말해줌

To sum up, a small fee for rush-hour motorists would lighten traffic and help cities maintain a healthy and clean environment. For these reasons, charging such drivers would be beneficial to the planet and society.